Stress eating......

Stress eating.....more stress eating.....and yet, MORE stress eating. What does all of this equal? Who knows because I refuse to step on the scale.

Sometimes life totally suck! Mine sure does right now!

Wish us luck............we are gearing up for yet another rejection! (I know, such the optimist).

At least I do have some self control. Not the kind that keeps you from eating what is in your house but the kind that at least pushes you to throw things away (or drown) things that don't belong in your house.

Amongst loads of peer pressure last night (thanks Val :) ) I bought two half gallons (or at least they USED to be half gallons) of ice cream. When I got home I discovered that they were BOTH chocolate ice cream. Rob doesn't eat chocolate ice cream and because of this fact, it would be my job to finish them both off. NOT GOOD! I served myself up a VERY generous portion (although I had JUST gotten home from my Step class) and chowed.

Well, this morning I threw both half gallons in the garbage......OUTSIDE, so they can not be retrieved. I just cant stand it anymore. I'm going to get really FAT and that sucks. But at the same time I don't care. Am I making any sense? Not really.....I know.

So, for now I am safe.........until I buy the next load of garbage.

Save me.............save me from myself.

Short and Sweet

I forgot to post last week, probably because I didn't have much to say. I was exactly the same as the week before (161.8).

This morning I went on a 9.3 mile and was feeling great so I hopped confidently on the scale just to have it mock me. 162.8. Up a pound. Seriously? I mean, yes I did eat JUNK for dinner a few nights this week...but seriously?

So, once again I've got to get serious about eating better. If I'm going to kill myself exercising I'd like to see the results on the scale!

My main goal this week: eat healthier lunchs.

Locker Room Musings

First, a weigh in. I suppose it is okay for me to start gaining weight since I am in the 5th (I think?) month of my pregnancy. Still, I am a bit disappointed to be at 141lbs. I gained some weight quickly on account of my sweet tooth/lack of motivation to exercise. I am not trying to lose weight though. I know enough to be smart about that.

As for musings...
I shower and dress at the gym. This is waaaaay more convenient and strangely more private for me. (ie: no small ones peeling back the shower curtain to say 'hi') I am not a uber private person - hence the ability to dress in the locker room - but I do have some personal modesty. For the most part everyone else does too. I tend to keep as covered up as possible. Others just bare all for a quick get dressed. What I fail to comprehend are those who seem to have nnoooo personal modesty. For example the woman who checks her texts instead of putting on underwear. Seriously?! Text in 40 seconds after you put on underwear.

Other more serious thought. I recently ran into someone from my ward in the locker room. I had just come from the shower. (Not where I usually like to see people I actually know.) I had a towel on and was proceeding to dress. She was preparing to go to a swim class but wore her suit to the gym. She made a comment that has stuck with me. She said she didn't change here (the gym) because she didn't think we were "supposed to" do that -- garments and all.
I have thought about the garment issue several times. I dress quickly and do my best not to flaunt my religion around. For the most part, no one has ever said anything. I don't get ready without a shirt on like I may do in my own home. I really don't think that what I'm doing is inappropriate which is why I continue to do it. If I truly felt like I was being disrespectful to the covenants I have made, I wouldn't do it. Still, I can't forget what she said. She wasn't trying to be judgemental (I don't think). But I still feel judged. She is still a nice sister who always says hi at church and thinks my kids are cute (this is very endearing). It may be that she doesn't even remember the encounter but I do and can't help thinking she's judging me when I see her. (Side note: I've only seen her at the gym once. She goes to the night swimming class. I just happened to use the gym in the evening once.)

Wednesday Weigh-In

Uh, why am I the last post? People? Did you forget you're suppossed to be posting here? Hello?

I'm weighing in at 177 lbs. Which makes sense since I've gotten to the gym about 4 times in the last 2 weeks. I still think my scale is broken, since I'm having to make adjustments by what's it's saying I weigh when nothing's on it. But maybe it all works out in the end. Hopefully this means all my hormones have righted themselves.

Here's a question for y'all....The heaviest I ever weighed myself was 205 lbs in August. BUT, I didn't start religiously keeping track until I started working out regularly almost a month later. By then I was down to 200 lbs. Even though I wasn't working to lose those 5 lbs, can I still claim them as lost? I haven't been, and I kinda want to so give me your input, please.

If you count those first 5 lbs I'm down 28 lbs since August. Otherwise 23 lbs since September.

Wednesday Non-weigh in

I think my scale is broken. I've been working out like crazy since the last weigh in and even though my eating is not what it should be, at the WORST I should merely be maintaining. I should not be gaining. Erego, the scale is broken.

I got a size smaller in jeans on Monday (thanks Mom!), because my current pair I can pull off my hips with them done up. The new ones still need to be broken in, but I'm working on it. I also got a few new shirts since everything else I own is XL. Happily I report that my new shirts were all M's.

Obviously the scale is broken.

OR, it might be related to the mini miscarriage I just had. You know how those hormones screw everything up.

Following UP

I said that I would check in again to let you know how I did on my goals this week, so here I am! I felt like overall I did pretty well, like always I started stronger than I ended, but it wasn't a terrible end. I did much better about snacking and portion control, although there is still PLENTY of room for improvement!!

For exercise, I did a video Monday (50 min of cardio and strength combined), ran 4.4 miles Tuesday, and on Wednesday I did 40 min of video and ran 1.5 miles at 7mph on the treadmill. Nothing Thursday. Nothing Friday. Saturday I ran 5.5 miles (I cut this shorter than I'd intended because I thought that I was going to make Joe late for work, turns out I got home 25 mins earlier than I needed to so I could've gone at least another 2 miles, oh well)

I weighed myself after the run yesterday and I was at 161. That's down 2lbs from last week. Great. But, I think that I'd be more excited about that if I didn't keep yo-yo-ing around between 160 and 164. I really need to break the 160 mark! So, that's my goal this week. Another 2lb week. A little ambitious, but I can do it if I really try, I'm sure.

Here's my action plan:
- at least 40 mins of cardio every day
- strength (weights or pilates) at least 3 times
- healthy snacking (which means no baking this week, that has seriously been my downfal for the last several weeks)
- no eating past 7:30 PM

Here goes another week, hope that it's good for all of us gets us closer to our goals rather than further away, I guess that's all we can really ask!