Weekend Weigh in-----take two and a glimpse into my inner thoughts.

I weighed in again today.........143. I'm still hanging out down here waiting for the gain. It has really been 10+ years since I have weighted this low but I don't anticipate being here for very long.

(Boo.....we hate her.....she sucks. You think I can't hear it, well I can)

Now, before you get your panties (or G's) in a twist thinking I am all bragging and stuff, just know that I am not..........let me explain.

As I have said before.......I am learning more and more that the weight loss/maintenance/gain journey is not about actually loosing/maintaining/gaining weight. It is about accepting who we are and being happy with ourselves.....no matter what we look like, how much we weigh or how we think others might perceive us.

So....having said that, I can now say that this is something I struggle with.....BIG TIME.

Sure... I eat mostly good foods, try not to over eat, and drink plenty of water. Sure... I can get up exercise six days a week without giving it a second thought (most of the time). Sure... I weigh 7 lbs under my goal weight.

But for some reason it doesn't matter. No matter how much weight I loose or how baggy my clothes get........It just never seems to be enough. I struggle to be happy with what I have and who I am. "It could always be better.....You could tighten that up a bit......Maybe just a few more pounds would fix all my problems and make me happy." That's what I to myself when I look in the mirror. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah. You know what! .........It wont make me happy. Nothing is going to make me happy.....not now.......not until I can fix things in my head. (Valerie knows how mixed up I am right now.....we have had a few conversations about it lately.....I thought she might deck me once. :) Just kidding.)

So........that I am working on.

This is what I have come up with so far:

We all need to have a better perspective as we take this journey to our personal (weight loss) goals. Our bodies were given to us by our Heavenly Father. He wants us to take care of them and nourish them. He doesn't want us to starve ourselves and work out 3 hours a day.......and on the other extreme......He doesn't want us to gorge ourselves and sit on the couch either. And He certainly doesn't want us to get down on ourselves and dwell on our failures when we "fall of the wagon" or "overindulge." Moderation in all things. That's the key.

Remember it's Satan who wants us to be so unsatisfied with ourselves that we loose control one way or another. He tells us that in order to be worth anything we must weigh ___ lbs or wear a size ___. But.....he's a liar and we all know it. He just wants us to be as miserable as he is.

So........It's my quest (and one of my new years resolutions) to become HEALTHY! I've got a good start on the body side of things (minus the large Oreo shake I barely "shared" with Rob last night) but it's HEALTH and PEACE of MIND I am really looking for.

I'll keep you updated on my progress and insights.....if you have any of your own, please share.

We are all Daughters of Our Heavenly Father who loves us...............